He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
