Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
