Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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