Will you blow on my dice?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize