So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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