fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
