if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
