i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
