After last night, I could never be a politician.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
