I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
