There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
