nutella sex= disaster
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
