I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I still have a little drunk in my system
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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