Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
porn star boner night. come get it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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