I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
