just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
