bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize