awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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