just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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