quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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