Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
last night I used snow as a chaser
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
