you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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