Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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