Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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