remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
