for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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