Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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