I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
