im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
