So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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