Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
