hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
