I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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