Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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