in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
God, I missed his penis.
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