You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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