I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
