how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just made my gag reflex go away.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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