so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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