i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
