so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
