We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
