if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
