It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
