Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
