Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
