8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
