Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
Randomize
