Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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