he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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