It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
