We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
