ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
