No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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