We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
