...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize