Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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